Who am I?

Who am I? More than a question to myself, it is a topic of research and exploration. Almost 25 winters passed in a fray while I stand bewildered in the space continuum of dark fringes. The quanta of my existence was never the same, as the crest is to trough, as the white is to gray, as the constructive is to the destructive interference. Truly indeed, I had and have a fair share of summer to my seasons of life but the quest to feed myself with the answer of existentialism remained intact.

We are bounded by the realm of space and time, but there is always an extra dimension of our brain which refrains to obey the laws of Physics. Vatsa

All the great discoveries of my life took shape in the projection of this 3D world on my multi-dimensional encephalon. I always had the urge to explore the uncertain vastness of Space and Science, but was reluctant to expose myself in the terrains of this earth. I want to share the sunken feelings of my heart but fear to expose myself to the judge-mental audience of my life. I love the idea of loneliness but the thought of isolation haunts me. I am fascinated with the innovation and technology around me but somedays the mere simplicity of things excite me. As once Shakespeare said- "To be or not to be is the greatest dilemma" and unfortunately so, I am in thick of this organized mess of things.

So back to the initial question I had to myself- Do I really know my nature or just confused and bewildered with the mystery of amphibious being. But then I realized that the true identity of Physics, Biology, Electronics, Spirituality, Psychology and Mathematics lies in Duality. Light can either be matter or wave, Bits can be zero/one or both simultaneously (Quantum Computing), chemicals can posses multiple states, organisms can be amphibious, traits can be split personality, duality rules discrete algebra, entropy of interstellar space is singularity and even the penultimate force; Lord Shiva has multiple forms but a single divineness . So guess I have found a reasonable logic to the rather ambiguous stream of queries I started with.

This constant tussle between extremism defines my character. In the pursuit of finding my perfection and uniqueness, I found the imperfection of my odd persona. Perhaps the fantasy of my passion and goal imbibed a utopian feeling within myself which is far fetched from reality. My mental peace lies in accepting this fact and let the things roll out on its usual pace as the beer is to pitcher.